To The Prick Who Lied To Police -- An Essay

Sir,
I wan't to personally credit you. Thanks to your stupidity, the police have lost two days worth of investigation because of your false report of the D.C. sniper. According to news reports, you may be charged with filing a false report. I personally think that would be too good for you, although I suspect that charging you would make your name public record. And then you will be known by your fellow beltway brethren.

My brother and I have come up with some suggestions of what should be done with you instead of sending you to jail.

• You should have to work at a full service gas station for two days. With a bullseye on your shirt and hat.
• Someone should pose as a doctor and tell YOU that you have six weeks to live. You obviously don't know fear. But you should.
• They should post YOUR picture on the news with a reward for your capture.

In closing, you are a degenerate and should be punished. And not through the court system.
F*** you,
Frog Brother