Bobby Brown Ordered To Stand Trial For Abuse, Wearing Stupid Bowler Hat

As surprising as it may seem, Bobby Brown has been ordered to stand trial for hitting his emaciated wife, Whitney Houston. According to Brown, the cut sustained by his wife was the result of a playful childhood game of "slap boxing". You remember that game, don't you? Remember when all the kids would get together in the sandlot and select two among them to slap the shit out of each other? Remember that? No? You mean you don't play "slap boxing" with your girlfriend? You can't possibly be saying that Mr. Brown has made up a game to excuse or cover up his behavior? How DARE you!

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