Record Companies Agree To Pay "Missing" Artists

Those sad old record companies have agreed to pay royalties they previously held because they "lost contact with the performers". These performers include P. Diddy and Dolly Parton. We all know that both of those performers are in hiding, don't we? I mean, besides the broadway show, clothing line and music production company, the guy's practically a hermit! And Dolly Parton... forget about it! She's been out of the spotlight for years!

Hey, record companies... I got an idea... instead of going after 12 year olds on Kazaa, why don't you pay the artists what you owe WITHOUT them having to sue you! I mean, you could have mailed Dolly's check to Dollywood! I'm pretty sure she'd get 'em!