Want 50 Reasons Why LoTR Sucks?
God bless those silly, silly nerds and their terrible costumes.
Dr. Albert Oxford, PhD, has derived a list of 50 reasons why the classic Lord of the Rings trilogy is stinky and full of crap. Not unlike a... uh... piece of crap. Oh, forget it. Just read the list...
posted by Frog @ 8/02/2004 10:15:00 PM
4 Comments:
WTF???
You have OBVIOUSLY not read the books. First off, the literature read by students may be forced, but it is a work of art (the trilogy) by J.R.R. Tolkien. It would be a SHAME to let people not second-glance it. Hollywood choose this and could not have added if they wanted to, because they were under a contract with Tolkien Enterpries. to stay with the three books written-therefore would obviously do ALL 3 books. Also, I am confused about your complaints about the orcs wearing shoes, were, in the making of the movies on the offical website, shows orcs wearing footwear from that time period. 7. Racism- are you kidding me??? OF COURSE all people are white- Tolkien lived in ENGLAND, where there are many Anglo-Saxon, which he STUDIED. The violence adds to the story creating the feel, because would you have a war movie without any gore or violence??? Half of the story is ABOUT WAR. Gandalf could not simple talk Galdhir (his flying friend) Eagle and go into Mordor. They would easily capture him (Frodo). Liv Tyler is not only an ELF! but she is the decendent of the ruler of Rivendell (Elrond), who, has one of the three powerful rings given to the elves. You are right about the smoke. BUT, Gandalf comes back because, in a sence, he is an angel (Tolkien was a christian). Gandalf's "Task" was not "complete" (from the book). The ring, lets not forget, it's a BOOK, which, as long as there is no "rule" for writing books, it COULD, MAYBE, a MAGIC ring... The starting that you were interested in, was about the book written, "The Simalliran" (or however you spell it...) and that book is VERY depressing... and would not go well at the boxoffice. Your stament about "finders keepers" confuses me. Would you give back a 500-year old insane creature a magic ring??? Why show the characters going to the bathroom??? I will continue later...
Andrew
VS
Canada
WTF???
You have OBVIOUSLY not read the books. First off, the literature read by students may be forced, but it is a work of art (the trilogy) by J.R.R. Tolkien. It would be a SHAME to let people not second-glance it. Hollywood choose this and could not have added if they wanted to, because they were under a contract with Tolkien Enterpries. to stay with the three books written-therefore would obviously do ALL 3 books. Also, I am confused about your complaints about the orcs wearing shoes, were, in the making of the movies on the offical website, shows orcs wearing footwear from that time period. 7. Racism- are you kidding me??? OF COURSE all people are white- Tolkien lived in ENGLAND, where there are many Anglo-Saxon, which he STUDIED. The violence adds to the story creating the feel, because would you have a war movie without any gore or violence??? Half of the story is ABOUT WAR. Gandalf could not simple talk Galdhir (his flying friend) Eagle and go into Mordor. They would easily capture him (Frodo). Liv Tyler is not only an ELF! but she is the decendent of the ruler of Rivendell (Elrond), who, has one of the three powerful rings given to the elves. You are right about the smoke. BUT, Gandalf comes back because, in a sence, he is an angel (Tolkien was a christian). Gandalf's "Task" was not "complete" (from the book). The ring, lets not forget, it's a BOOK, which, as long as there is no "rule" for writing books, it COULD, MAYBE, a MAGIC ring... The starting that you were interested in, was about the book written, "The Simalliran" (or however you spell it...) and that book is VERY depressing... and would not go well at the boxoffice. Your stament about "finders keepers" confuses me. Would you give back a 500-year old insane creature a magic ring??? Why show the characters going to the bathroom??? I will continue later...
Andrew
VS
Canada
WTF???
You have OBVIOUSLY not read the books. First off, the literature read by students may be forced, but it is a work of art (the trilogy) by J.R.R. Tolkien. It would be a SHAME to let people not second-glance it. Hollywood choose this and could not have added if they wanted to, because they were under a contract with Tolkien Enterpries. to stay with the three books written-therefore would obviously do ALL 3 books. Also, I am confused about your complaints about the orcs wearing shoes, were, in the making of the movies on the offical website, shows orcs wearing footwear from that time period. 7. Racism- are you kidding me??? OF COURSE all people are white- Tolkien lived in ENGLAND, where there are many Anglo-Saxon, which he STUDIED. The violence adds to the story creating the feel, because would you have a war movie without any gore or violence??? Half of the story is ABOUT WAR. Gandalf could not simple talk Galdhir (his flying friend) Eagle and go into Mordor. They would easily capture him (Frodo). Liv Tyler is not only an ELF! but she is the decendent of the ruler of Rivendell (Elrond), who, has one of the three powerful rings given to the elves. You are right about the smoke. BUT, Gandalf comes back because, in a sence, he is an angel (Tolkien was a christian). Gandalf's "Task" was not "complete" (from the book). The ring, lets not forget, it's a BOOK, which, as long as there is no "rule" for writing books, it COULD, MAYBE, a MAGIC ring... The starting that you were interested in, was about the book written, "The Simalliran" (or however you spell it...) and that book is VERY depressing... and would not go well at the boxoffice. Your stament about "finders keepers" confuses me. Would you give back a 500-year old insane creature a magic ring??? Why show the characters going to the bathroom??? I will continue later...
Andrew
VS
Canada
It didn't have enough tits in it, so I don't care..
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