Boy Faces 10 Day Suspension For Assault With Deadly Rubber Band

School officials have saved the lives of countless students today by suspending a seventh grader and removing him from school. His crime? Tossing a rubber band onto a teacher's desk. His punishment? Well, since they have charged him with a "level 4" offense, usually reserved for arsonists and pugilists, he will be suspended for 10 days. Nice.

I'm thinking about taking some of these paper clips on my desk and going on a tri-state killing spree.