Frog's House of Infinite Wisdom

Good mornin'. It's Saturday... woohoo! Brandi (my girlfriend) called and woke me up this morning. She's stuck in the panhandle this Easter weekend. Her "kinfolk" are from there and so she made the drive to be with them. You could actually hear a rooster billowing in the background.
She told me a story about this guy she saw at Sonic that was driving an old car. He had jumper cables in his hand but there was no other car around. Anyway, he ended up hooking one end to his battery and the other end to the battery in the back seat of his car. I guess it didn't dawn on him to actually INSTALL the working battery. Welcome to the country!

I'm back. Went out with my friends. Well, actually, went out by myself and met people I knew. Salty Dog. Quite possibly the worst, most disgusting bar in town. I think they wipe the tables with grease. The bartenders are nice enough and the crowd was quite friendly, which is very unusual for Gainesville. I spent most of the night talking to my friend Christi and her roommate and the random guys that would plop down at our table to talk to them. That's always fun. I was in no mood to play "alpha male" so I just sat there and made witty banter whilst drinking my beer. Good times, y'all.

Ok... so now it's 8:29pm and I just got finished eating Sushi. Five years ago, if you would have told me that I'd like sushi, I would have smacked you. And then kicked you. And while you were trying to crawl away, I would have grabbed a folding chair and bashed you across your back, just like in the WWF. I had trouble controlling my anger back then.

This office is so quite and empty right now... I think I saw a tumbleweed go by.

Will someone PLEASE buy an X-10 Camera so they will leave me alone!!!

Ok.... here's my thought on smoking for everyone in the office. Instead of outlawing smoking, they should outlaw matches and lighters. It should be mandated that you can ONLY light cigarettes with military flame throwers. That way, people will appreciate how dangerous smoking really is!

With Easter just around the corner, I thought you'd want to read about the history and background of one of our most favorite treats, the Marshmallow Peep. Does anyone actually eat these things? I'm already doing research on the marshmallow peanut, hopefully in time for Halloween.

Ozzy Ozbourne. Rocker, bat eater, family man. If you haven't seen his show on MTV, then you don't know what a sweet family man he really is. Anyway, here's an article about Ozzy's brush with Russell Yates. You know, the guy that ignored his wife's OBVIOUSLY dangerous mental illness and bragged to friends that he'd never even changed a diaper. Ozzy! Quick! Bite his head off before he marries again!!!

Good morning!
You can always count of the University of Florida to have great news. Well, the latest deals with poor Glenn Cooper. You see, Glenn was out minding his own business when all of a sudden, he found himself looking in the window of the Kappa Alpha Theta sorority house. Must be a fan of Animal House. Anyway, he was discovered and one of the sorority sisters got his license plate number and he was subsequently written up for future voyeurism charges. Did I mention he was only wearing boxers? Oops... minor detail. Click HERE.
And from the UF Instructors is STOOPID department -- here's one of our finest that made national news for disrupting a plane flight threatening that "somebody might get hurt". I'd say that someone is him.

Oh man... I want everyone to take a look at this website. Bill Simmons writes for ESPN and although he primarily writes about sports (and ladies, you can stop yawning), occasionally he'll write about movies and other random things. He's so damn super funny, he should be wearing a cape.
Anyway, he really LOOOOVED the movie "Rollerball". See for yourself.

Ok... so Mark (my coworker) got his car dinging by some stupid girl living upstairs from him. Paint matched, parking situation matched, she seemed guilty, etc...etc... but there is no eyewitness or other "concrete" evidence to support the incident so the cops are doing nothing.
Now, let's everyone concentrate our mental energy so this girl will either: (a). Fess up and pay damages, or (b). Get explosive diarrhea.
Fin.

It brings me great sadness to report the death of Dudley Moore. He was an inspiration to me. Not only was he a talented comic performer and a great pianist, he taught me the most important lesson of all - that drunk people are damn funny. Click HERE for the obit. And Milton Burle! He's left us as well.! I know that I didn't grow up watching this guy but who could forget his wonderful dueling match with RuPaul on the MTV Video Awards! D-d-d-damn!

Oh... before I forget! This is another website that is put together by my friend Greg. Called "GregNews", it is one stop shopping for all your information needs... that is if you don't mind views that are slightly right-of-center. Greg rants with the best of 'em.
Click HERE.

From the city voted the #1 place to live in the USA by Money Magazine, there's drama, action, suspense.... and lots of drinking! But by the looks of the "suspect", this ain't no "Melrose Place". An aside: Am I the only one disturbed that people are cheering at the tear gas? Nothing good can come of this.
Click HERE for more information.

On the Sports/Entertainment front, ADD sufferers are working on a new sport to take over our airwaves and collective attention. Called "Slamball", which I usually refer to as slipping on a balance beam, brings together "elements from basketball, football, hockey and gymnastics". Couldn't they have incorporated lacrosse and curling as well? Can anyone say "career-ending high ankle sprain"? Anyway, click HERE for the whole story.

This is the OFFICIAL first post for the House. Feel free to jump for joy. I plan on using this page to test your capacity for rants and bullsh*t as well as utilizing my HTML coding skillz. Here's a news story from my hometown. Apparently, the authoricrats there are taking the zero-tolerance policies to the absurd! Click HERE to read this nonsense! All for now. More later! Bruce