Frog's House of Infinite Wisdom

The oft-married Zsa Zsa Gabor is currently in Cedars-Sinae Hospital after an automobile accident that has left her in a coma. Details here.

The blog author of "GregNews" turns 32 today. Wish him a happy birthday by checking out his site and increasing his hit count!

Flowgo.com has released a list of the top 10 athlete arrests. Wildly entertaining. Take a look see.

UPDATE - Not a great list. O.J. is missing.

In Peoria, they like their prostitutes big. Real big. Big like Rachael "Pooch" Thompson, a local who was arrested for felony prostitution and is currently sitting her fat stank ass in jail. The worst part is that she's been convicted of killing someone -- with her big, giant fatness. Intrigued? Confused? A little excited, perhaps? Click here to read about "Pooch" and then click here to book a flight to Peoria.

Ok, I skipped a day. Actually two. I tried the mouthtray monstrosity at home because it was just too gross at work. That didn't go so well, either. This system puts my saliva glands in overdrive.

I've decided that from now on, all future tooth whitening attempts will go on in the shower so I can't gross anyone out. Truth be told, I can already see results. Not damn bad. I'm one sexy bitch.

A purse snatcher from Austrailia was unable to wrestle the goods for his victim -- a wheelchair-bound paraplegic -- so he did the noble thing: he punched her in the head. Read the sordid tale here at the same time religious leaders from around the globe all agree on this one thing, that this guy is SCREWED in the afterlife.

A study commissioned by Playboy has determined that 45% of women have had sex on their desk. Eww.... even at MY job?! Click here but try not to make a mess...

1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool Whip time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5. Whew, that's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at the same time!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you put it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Just take some in your hand and stuff it as far as it will go.
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
19. How long do I beat it before it's ready?
20. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all that and still want more!

On the WebMD site, I noticed an advice column for men's sexual health. And some guy wrote in with what could be the most self-depricating letter I've ever heard. Naturally, I laughed out loud.

Question: I am an obese 20-year-old. I weigh close to 300 pounds, and I'm only 5'4". My penis is about 3 inches when erect. My girlfriend has been asking me to have sex with her for the past three months. I always turn her down because I am so big. I don't think there is any way I could penetrate her because my stomach would be in the way and my penis is so small. Am I to live life without sex?

Feel free to use the comment page to respond to this guy and his penis problems...

Citing the power of Jesus and a "motivation to never quit", this former PA high school principle plays against entire volleyball teams -- by himself -- and beats them. Featured on Ripley's Believe It or Not, this motivational speaker in shorts beats state champion high school teams and has beaten teams fielded by pro-athletes. Check it.

UPDATE: I just watched the video on the site. It's hilarous to watch. All these teams getting fired up to beat "Bob"... and they can't.

I'd like a Crown and Coke... hold the Coke!

The Bush Twins turn 21 today. Legally allowed to do what they've been doing illegally for years.... gettin' plastered!

Click on this site and then save your nickels and dimes.

10. Remote-control squirrel
9. Digital clock that is also a radio
8. An illegal cable box
7. Cuff links shaped like dice
6. Panasonic wet-dry beard trimmer with night vision
5. Football-shaped phone
4. A refreshing soda that combines both lemon and lime
3. Shampoo and conditioner in one
2. Futuristic green liquid that fights bad breath
1. Delicious low-fat cheesecake

Anyone within earshot -- or should I say "webshot" -- should check out GregNews. It's chock full of news and commentary and is a wonderful one stop source for information. Read and learn!

I don't know if I'll be doing this at work. It was pretty disgusting... droolly and yucky. So I'll wait until tonight.

Wow. That's the only way to describe this. Wow. The title is lifted directly from this Washington Post article about a man who was trapped in the bowels of his outhouse for three days.

Here's a list of the 10 favorite cars of gay men and here's the list for the lesbian community from the guys at Car Talk. P.S. I'm currently driving the number 2 on the list... and it's RAINING MEN! HALLELUJAH !

Eric Immerman, writer for ESPN and the horrendously unfunny "The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn", has put together a list of the ultimate sports cliques. I'm thinking about putting them all together to create the ultimate uber-sports movie...

Well, that was just nasty. The instructions say that I should contact a poison control center if I ever injest the "Mentadent Tooth Whitening System". Because I don't want to have a medical emergency at work, I decided to try and not swallow for the designated 10-15 minutes. Ew. I felt like I was going to drool all over myself. It's disgusting. I won't go into detail. I give this product a "D-" so far but I'll continue to use it for a week to see if there's any whitening improvement...

I'm now wearing the specially designed mouthpiece. Had to do some minor chemistry work, mixing the specially designed paste, which is ironic because the paste has a taste that is a strange combination of spearmint and epoxy. Mmmm... delicious.


If you work with me and notice any drool on my shirt, just look the other way, ok?

I'm really happy at this particular second. Now, I'm not. That's the way it goes in my stupid head. Mostly the brain part. My job is frustrating... mainly because I'm always behind in knowledge and the things I need to know are SO dry and SO uninteresting that it's hard to build up motivation to want to learn it all. All of my coworkers are cool and my supervisors are the nicest people but it seems like the higher up(s) don't care how stressed off our office is. We have been asked to convert our entire system, which includes every program and process in a little over 2 1/2 months. We should be given six at the very least. Every time we have a meeting about this conversion, the dread in the air is heavy. It's depressing.

I was walking around campus and I figured that my life is probably a lot like most... in that I'm waiting for a grand epiphony that will shoot into my brain and tell me what I'm supposed to be doing. Aren't I destined for greatness? Or goodness? Delicious, crispy goodness? (Hungry...) I'm spending a lot of my time trying to find my goodness or greatness. Took a second job doing web design work hoping that this different environment would help me find this grand plan. Nothing but static and white noise so far.

I've been trying to fix the things I have control over. For instance, I just bought the "Mentadent Tooth Whitening System" which promises that it is "clinically proven to whiten teeth in just 7 days!" And there's an exclamation, which means this is exciting news! See?! I'm gonna open my kit... hold on...

Ok, the kit contains mouthwash, a 3.5 oz "dual chambered pump" which contains the magic substance that alleges to turn my teeth to a pearly white, 2 mouthtrays which look somewhat like a football mouthpiece, and a "dosing paddle" -- which is used to spread the goo all over the mouthpiece. Mmmmm.... I'm gonna try this and see if it works.

I call this picture "Hot Eats, Cool Treats".

I took this picture in the car after Gator Growl, which was MUCH better than in past years. Anyway, it's always interesting to go around on the old 'net and see the artsy fartsy websites with their photography and fancy writing'. I can take blurry pictures just as well as those people!!!

Other people's blogs, that is. I've looked at other sites and have noticed that my page is rather goofy. Especially the format. The trend in blogs as far as I can tell centers around deep introspection and that is done throught the use of tiny, tiny fonts. My sight is the exact opposite, with huge type for the visually impaired. The other blogs also have lists of things the author is currently doing such as "What I'm Currently Reading", "What Shirt I'm Wearing", and "What's That Smell?" I guess I should have that as well.
I'm thinking about changing the format. It'll be a lot of work. What do you think?

Click here to see some of the better newspaper ad screw ups. Takes a while to load but pretty funny!

Notice the little "comments" link below the blog entries? Good. That means that you can now comment on what you've read! If you read it, write it! Don't leave without filling out a comment card!

These guys are serious. They just had the RPS World Championships. Enjoy! http://www.worldrps.com

You know those half time competitions they have at basketball games? Well, this guy got to shoot for a million dollars... and made it! Check him out!

Ok, this one kind of gave me the creeps. I can just imagine this guy typing in his parent's basement with tin foil wrapped around his head to keep the alien transmissions from reaching his brain...

IT IS A (REAL LIFE ) SHOW

•  SHOWING HOW HIGH (DENIABLE) TECHNOLOGY CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE
•  SHOWING WHAT IS A GLOBAL VILLAGE ( SURVEILLANCE IN YOUR COUNTRY)
•  SHOWING WHAT IS (DOUBLE) STANDARD HUMAN RIGHT
•  SHOWING HOW YOU CAN MASTER YOUR LIFE (AS THEIR SLAVE)
•  SHOWING HOW TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL (REVERSELY ) :-[
•  SHOWING HOW MANY PERSPECTIVE WE CAN HAVE (BEND TO FIT)

I was the first one who promoted virtual enterprise here. They didn't want me have a real life.

They bring me their subliminal torture game. Monitor my speech pattern, twist to fight against me. Annoy me with their midnight anchor calls. Making me live as a paranoia, of course I have no evidence. They are using "environmental signal" - very skillful and systematic - to alter my fate. How can I tell I have been chosen as an experiment to testify the fortune teller ? How can I tell I am being projected ? How can I tell they are killing me ? How can I tell it is "in and out" or "rapport and project" or "MKULTRA" ? No. I am already too lucky not to perceive as a God.

I really want to know who initiate the "Chaos experiment", what covert business did IBn, M$, MOTOROLb and ORANGf betting on me ( very important clue ). I really want to know what would happen without my tape and mail. I NEED YOUR WITNESSES.



Cliff
XPgod2seduce@netscape.net
Where do you want to go to date me ?
Serial killer manufacturer ?
Serial Monica manufacturer ?
Why are you related to the fishing game ?
Can you draw a complete outdated map of all "experiments" ?

Gator Growl. Harland Williams. Bill Cosby. Good times. I'll have pictures of the parade and such soon...

Michael Jackson tells the jury how many times he's had his nose broken and reshaped.

Are you sensing a trend? Here's a page that shows the many faces of the Gloved One... with funny editorials to boot!

Dr. Edward Volkman, a psychologist from Temple University, has decided to analyze Michael Jackson's odd behavior. And no, I'm not referring to the chimp. Or the collection of "Elephant Man Bones".

Jeffrey Jones, the actor that played "Mr. Rooney" in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, as well acting in dozens of other films, has been charged with using a minor for sex acts and possession of child pornographic materials. He's a talented guy... really good in Ed Wood. Too bad he's a piece of sh*t that needs to get the snot beaten out of him.

This email disturbed me a bit. Maybe it was the subject line titled "An all monkey Jazz band". Or perhaps it was the subject matter...


A "worldwide non-profit"? Really? Like the Red Cross? There must be a lot of lonely women out there!

Booga booga booga booga! What the hell is hanging off of his nose?!

Here's another one sent to me, perhaps by my girlfriend! (I hope not...)
Now You Can Have a Bigger Penis Frogbrother!
This Doctor Approved Pill Will Actually Expand, Lengthen And Enlarge Your Penis Safely and Naturally 100% GUARANTEED!
Click Here
















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There is a spot on the U.F. campus near the library called the Plaza of the America that is home for all of the throwbacks, hippies and Krishnas on campus. They all sit around in their burlap bags, dirty dreadlocks, unleashed dogs and frisbees and enjoy the sumptuous bounty the Krishna lunch has to offer. I've never eating the food served by them, mostly because the food has an odd yellow tint to it. I've also noticed a correlation between the food and the desire to "hacky sack". Anyway, I was walking through that area, people watching, when I noticed this person lying in the grass. She had blonde hair and was leaning back on her elbows and sunning her legs. And the tiny hairs on her legs were glistening in the sunlight! EWWWW!!! IT WAS NASTY, DUDE!!! It looked like guy's legs!!! YUCKO!!!

I'm very glad my girlfriend is so feminine.

Here's a list of some of the economic plans they have in store:

• Enact legislation to make last year’s 10-year tax cut permanent.
• Accelerate the income tax rate cuts that are scheduled for 2004.
• Speed up and make permanent the repeal of the death tax.
• Pass an economic package that includes new investment tax breaks for businesses, higher limits on retirement savings account deposits and an increase in the amount of stock losses that can be deducted from income taxes.
• Pension protection legislation.

I'm really excited about most of the GOP agenda... but not all. But let's talk about the good stuff. Most people aren't aware of this but the tax cut that was implemented last year and is set to continue for another nine years is not permanent. After the 10th year, the system reverts back to the old tax rate, which will be quite an increase after ten years of reduction. It will be TERRIBLE! If we make it permanent, it will take a formal, official "tax increase" to change it again which means we can pin the increase on someone! And not re-elect them!
Kill the "Death Tax"! That's a good idea... because it allows for families to pass down businesses and assets to their kids without getting hit with a 50% tax rate. That usually destroys any chance of a continuation of a family business and typically causes the offspring to liquidate. That ends jobs as well! I also believe it's better to be able to get taxes out of a business that succeeds over taxing literally to death a business once.

Manute Bol, after having dominated in the NBA has decided to lace up his skates and sign up to play for a minor league hockey team. Um... can you say "fish out of water"?

Ok, I just read an article about Manute Bol. He's a pretty noble guy. Basically spent all of his money to help his people in the Sudan which are being terrorized by muslims. Shocker!

So yesterday, I spent about 45 minutes in Wal Mart trying to decide on a video game to buy. I was returning an unopened game that I got as a gift and fully intended on picking up a copy of Tiger Woods Golf for the Xbox. That was foiled when I got to the display and saw a stack of games that caught my eye. Medal of Honor. I had no idea it was out. Man!

This game is bad ass. I have a Dolby Digital stereo and cranked it up for this one. It's a first person shooter based during WWII and the first scene is right out of "Saving Private Ryan". Your character rides up on the beaches of Normandy and you and your band of brothers are storming the beach. Bullets are wizzing past, explosions and dirt are flying all around. It's nervewracking! I only played it for a couple of hours but it seems to be a winner. 5 stars out of 5.

Hey Fifi. I love your shiny coat.

This is so disturbing. Especially since it's not from England. A man was arrested and charged with animal cruelty after witnesses reported that he had sex with a two year old beagle. Do yourself a favor... watch the video. And don't worry... it's not footage of the assault. It's just a news report.

UPDATE: Charges have been reduced on the "Beagle Boinking" case. Click here, ya sicko.

Why, oh why! This story gets a big old "what the f***" from me. What are the odds that he'll make a big impact in the NBA as a high school entry. Has Kwame Brown? Check this out.

One of my closest childhood friends got married this weekend and he made the decision to ask that I be in the wedding. I hate weddings normally but I said yes anyway. It was at the lovely Hillsboro Club on Hillsboro Beach. Fancy schmancy. Seriously... it was one of those places with a laundry list of rules, mostly requiring proper attire. No jeans. White-only clothing on the tennis courts. I gotta tell you... the "no jeans" clause just cut out half of the clothes I brought on the trip. The only really "proper" attire would be anything white and pastel and khaki.

The bride doubled as the wedding coordinator and it was very important that she had no less than 6 billion bridesmaids, all of them from the same genus and species: blonde, thin, cute, etc... Nice looking group. I brought my girlfriend with me on the trip and of course she was prettier than all of them. (She doesn't read this so I'm not just kissing butt!)

The first night featured a "polynesian luau" on the pool deck. Good times. It was organized by the groom's mom, who is a state senator. I waited until close to the end of the evening and got her to promise to name a rest stop on I-75 after me. It's on tape, too!

Wow. Why can't they kick anyone's ass? Vanderbilt should have been steamrolled by the Gators but for some reason they can't put two halves together. Oh.. and great job Grossman. Way to spike the ball in the end zone as if you've never been there. Our kickers and punters LOVE a 15 yard penalty because they are SO scary talented!

From USA Today:

Singer Bobby Brown was arrested early Thursday in Atlanta's trendy Buckhead district on drug and traffic charges. An officer at the Atlanta city jail said Brown was charged with possession of less than an ounce of marijuana, speeding and having no driver's license or proof of insurance. Brown, 33, is Whitney Houston's husband.

You're kidding! Bobby Brown... THE Bobby Brown?! But he's such a model citizen!!

Hey... wait a second... didn't he get arrested in Orlando and preceded to urinate and defecate in the back of the squad car? Is there a 3 strikes law in place?

Looky at what was spammed to me! Boy, this is EXACTLY the type of crap that I enjoy!

University Diplomas! Finally, I Can Get My Ph.D!

Wednesday, November 06, 2002

The "Official" Rules To The Game "Shotgun"...

Terrifica -- Protector of Females Everywhere! Actually, Just New York...

Tuesday, November 05, 2002

Slavercise -- The Exercise Hit That's Sweeping The Nation

VOTE!!!!

Monday, November 04, 2002

Christina Aguilera -- Dirrty Girl

Gators Defeat The Dawgs -- Will Wonders Never Cease

Florida Amendment List, With Descriptions

Friday, November 01, 2002

First The White House, Tomorrow the World!

A Third Suspect...

May The Dork Be With You!

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