Frog's House of Infinite Wisdom

I know what you're thinking. Yes, you have to EAT the broccoli for it to work. Click here for the full scoup.

On CNN.com, it was reported that singer Robert Palmer died of a heart attack at the ripe old age of 54. Remember him? "Addicted To Love"? "Simply Irresistable"? Had all those hot women in his video with blank expressions dancing and holding instruments? Smoked like a chimney?

On the DRUDGE REPORT, it has surfaced that controversial photographer Robert Mapplethorpe, or rather his estate, might be releasing nude pictures taken of Arnold Schwarzenegger during his leaner, buffer days. My though? Who cares? He's was a physical specimen back then and unless it's not one of Mapplethorpe's odder pictures, such as the one's with the bullwhip -- don't ask! -- it doesn't matter in terms of how much better he'll do to fix the state of disarray that is California! This is SUCH a non-issue!

This story on WCJB.com refers to an RV that my girlfriend and I noticed as we were driving to the game. It had scantially clad women airbrushed on the side and the words "Sum Poosie Energy Drink" written in bold letters. The artistry was not unlike what you would see on a ride at one of those makeshift carnivals that set up in mall parking lots. The girlfriend was offended by it and I thought it faintly amusing, albeit juvenile. I mean, would ANYONE buy a drink called "Sum Poosie". Just sounds terrible to me! It's like the buffet at a strip club. The food could be great but there's always a concern about cleanliness. Ew... never mind.

Anyway, the guy selling this swill at a football game where families are constantly walking by was arrested for disorderly conduct because he allegedly strayed from the actual name of the product when doing his carnival barking. First Amendment Issue? We'll see...

"I think the University of Florida made a great choice with Ron Zook as its head coach. He has big goals, big dreams and he's going to be fine if he continues with his attention to the defense and lets the offense keep rolling like it has in the past. I think he's a heck of a motivator. He can get the best out of guys." (January 9, 2002) Steve Spurrier, Washington Redskins Head Coach

The operative word is "if". He hasn't let the offense run like it did before, although he does utilize his TE's slightly more than Spurrier did. For more quotes, click here.

According to the Independent Florida Alligator, tow truck drivers in Gainesville are constantly being verbally attacked by locals. The article goes on to report how they are just doing their job and the students are not taking responsibility for their actions. I would agree... if these truck drivers weren't breaking into people's cars. Is that legal? I highly doubt it. Is it ethical? No. Do these drivers serve a real community purpose or are they just in it for themselves?

The truth of the matter is that you have no recourse in matters regarding the tow truck companies. They can tow your car -- and have many times -- based on their own arbitrary sense of right and wrong. They bid for the right to have access to a particular parking lot, including offering to pay for kegs for fraternities and offering apartment complex management deeply discounted auto repair privledges for the right to "roam towing" access, which simply means that they can drive to the complex whenever the mood strikes them and tow cars, regardless if anyone has called due to a problem. It is solely for the purpose of revenue generation. They are not providing any service.

I have seen these tow truck drivers in action and have been disgusted by their attitudes and actions. I remember riding with an aquaintance of mine to the lot to pick up a towed car and hearing the tow truck driver brag how the car owner tried to make towing more difficult by turning the steering wheel when they parked but "we got it anyway", obviously making an attempt to further agitate the victim. I've also witnessed them breaking into cars with a "slim jim" to turn the wheels. Understand that police officers aren't allowed to carry those kind of devices to assist people... so why would some less-than-common tow truck driver be allowed to break into someone's car to move it?

My girlfriend's uncle drives a wrecker and he's a great guy. We've had a discussion about this and he was as disgusted as I was. I know he's up all night helping people with real emergencies and doing honest work while creeps like Stan's Towing roams the neighborhoods looking for cars to steal. Another thing to note is that they require cash for you to retrieve your car. And, naturally, they have an ATM on site that charges a processing fee of at LEAST five dollars... and I'm willing to bet an all-cash business has ways of making that money disappear, too. Someone PLEASE audit these people!!!

UPDATE: Here's the Florida State Statute regarding towing. Apparantly, it's LEGAL for them to break into your car?!!! According to the statute, the drivers must perform "reasonable care" to the vehicles or they are liable for them. What?! All they have to say is "I never broke the doorlocks. They were like that before!" It's insane!

Ahoy, matey! This is Black Tom Bonney! Hoist ye main sail and get yer scurvy boots on over to talklikeapirate.com so you can talk like a real pirate. Because today be the day to arm yeself with knowledge to sail the seven seas! Yaaaar! YAAAAAR! If you need a pirate name like mine, command yer parrot to click here.

Here's some yuk-yuks for ya... not my material, I assure you.

1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said Implants?" She hit me.

4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.

5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."

6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.

7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and shithead's.

11. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

12. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.

13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I ve stayed alive.

14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

15. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

16. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

17. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

18. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"

Why are we so interested in these nitwits? Honestly... I can't explain it. Separately, they aren't that interesting. The only two good things J.Lo has ever done is the movie "Out Of Sight" and dancing as a "Fly Girl". The only, and I mean ONLY good thing Ben Affleck has done is his acting in "Good Will Hunting". Otherwise, his acting on screen is as exciting as watching grass grow. And yet together, they've formed this supergroup, like "Damn Yankees" or the "Looney Tunes" in Space Jam. Anyway, I found myself clicking on a link that said "Ben Never Wanted To Marry Jen"... why God, why?!!!

I got a new desk chair from my boss as he just received a new one and I was pretty happy with it until I read one of the articles from The Onion. Thanks a lot?!

New Desk Chair A Boring Dream Come True
BUCKLIN, KS—The arrival of a royal-blue Global Armless Task Chair at Allstate Insurance Monday marked an extremely mundane "dream come true" for human-resources aide Patty Keely. "I so love my life," said a giddy Keely, 31, without a shred of irony. "I've been wanting a chair with wheels for so long, but I never thought [office manager] Don [Frissel] would get me one. Now my chair won't make that horrible scraping sound every time I stand up to file something. Yes!" Now that she has a new desk chair, Keely said she fantasizes about one day buying a Chevrolet Cavalier or visiting her cousin in Branson, MO.

My Power Mac G5 is a cool looking machine. I'm betting that you'll agree after checking out this site. A photographer has taking digital pictures -- inside and out -- of this magnificent machine and put together a site displaying them. Take a look and then consider buying one instead of your windows machine. It's gonna lock up. You're gonna have to push ctrl-alt-del at some point. Enjoy!

On Sacbee.com, AP reported that a Texas man who disrupted a flight from Hawaii was pinned to his seat with duct tape, with the assistance of other passengers. Good for them! No foolishness should be allowed on an airplane! Click here to get the whole story.

In a day that may be considered "Black Friday" in the entertainment community, CNN.com reported that actor John Ritter and legendary musician Johnny Cash were both pronounced dead today. Ritter, former star of the hit show "Three's Company", collapsed on the set of his new television show "8 Simple Rules" and was rushed to the hospital where they were unable to revive him. Johnny Cash, on the other hand, was already in the hospital and died due to complications related to diabetes.

For those of you interested in learning more about my NYC trip... I've decided to post a video compilation of my trip to the Maury Show! Check it out... it's funny! Keep an eye out for the "dancin' granny"! Click here for the Quicktime video. It's pretty large but it should stream right in!

The September 11 Digital Archive is a website devoted to collecting and preserving the memory of September 11th through their multimedia collection. It's important that we all take time to reflect and remember...

This news item probably comes as a shock to a lot of people, but not me. As an rabid Stern fan, I appreciate the show's value as a news entity. Sure, there's silly commentary regarding the news but the news is reported and a good deal of the show is devoted to national and NYC news. And considering that the FCC has ruled "Jerry Springer" as a news program, it's only fair to put H.S. in the same category, right?

Sorry, but this picture caught my eye. What did the geniuses at CNN.com do to her picture?!! They shrunk her photo but it got lost in translation...

If you were wondering what happened to the black dude that was in the first two episodes, only to be replaced by Jai, the gay DJ... wonder no more! Click here for proof that "Queer Eye" is becoming popular as it is now the target of a lawsuit! Weeeeeee!

Remember these guys? You probably read "Highlights" magazine while waiting at your pediatrician's office...

This Highlights Magazine-inspired editorial was written by my friend Greg, the guy in charge of "GregNews.com". It is both sarcastic and accurate.

Here's a little piece I wrote for Ron Zook called "Coach Goofus Goes to the Orange Bowl." If you don't remember the Goofus and Gallant series you can get a refresher here: http://www.highlightskids.com/guestarea/h3gStorySoup/GoofusandGallant/h1intro.asp

-Coach Gallant has well-coached special teams. Even though he coached special teams in the NFL a Coach Goofus kickoff team couldn't stop a turtle from streaking down the field for a score.

-When passing, Coach Gallant's team likes to throw vertically for big chunks of yardage. When passing, Coach Goofus' team throws sideline to sideline, because that's what offensive coordinators who come from 1-AA schools do.

-Coach Gallant prepares his quarterback in advance to throw a quick short strike when facing a blitz . In the same situation Coach Goofus has his quarterback take a seven-step drop back, predictably resulting in an incomplete hurry or sack.

-Like other college or NFL head coaches, Coach Gallant has a special chart that he uses to determine when or when not to go for a 2-point conversion. Coach Goofus has no such chart, and has never even heard of this chart. He carelessly wields the 2-point conversion like a 5-year-old who has found daddy's shotgun.

-On a third-and-short situation, especially during a close game, Coach Gallant likes to call a high percentage play such as run off tackle; if he does pass Coach Gallant is sure that the pass be aimed to a receiver beyond the first-down marker. Coach Goofus likes to call a screen play well behind the line of scrimmage, usually to a true freshman, resulting in a fourth-and-long situation.

-Coach Gallant sticks with a hot player. Coach Goofus brings a great but very inexperienced second quarterback into the game right after his more experienced starting quarterback throws a 50-yard touchdown pass. And then when up only by a point Coach Goofus inserts a third-string option quarterback even though his first two quarterbacks were doing just fine.

-Coach Gallant understands momentum and how it applies to strategy; he knows when to run and when to pass. Coach Goofus passes when he should run, and runs when he should pass.

-Coach Gallant doesn't try to use a bunch of clock if his offense is suddenly stagnant and the other team has momentum; he may need the time later. Coach Goofus' attempts to run out the clock with 10 minutes left in the game, even though it's not working and even though the other team has all the momentum.

-Coach Gallant knows that in college football anything can happen; a team must remain as aggressive in the last two quarters as in the first two, even if up by a bunch of points. Coach Goofus likes to coast with a prevent D in the fourth quarter, and then after losing he says stupid things like, "We learned a lot more from this than if we would have won it." That's just grand, Coach Goofus.

-Fans of Coach Gallant's team believe their 28-point comeback is unprecedented. Fans of Coach Goofus' team recall a similar fiasco at the Choke at Doak in 1994, when Coach Goofus was the team's defensive coordinator. My, how some things never change.

-Fans of Coach Gallant's team are fair-weather, insist their band play nothing but 2-Live-Crew, never sell out their stadium, and most didn't even go to school there. Fans of Coach Goofus' team are loyal but extremely bitter today.

Next week: Athletic directors. Preview: Athletic director Doofus didn't take his time to properly interview a slew of great candidates to replace a national-champion coach who departed for the NFL. Instead athletic director Doofus panics after his first two choices decline, and chooses someone who's never before been a head coach at any level. Athletic director Doofus had no comment when immediately following the Coach Goofus hire a recently released head coach of the Oakland Raiders, John Gruden, is quoted in the area paper saying he wished Florida had contacted him about the job. So do we, John. So do we.

I decided to check out the "Fire Ron Zook" website to see what people were writing. This particular post says it pretty well, if you overlook the spelling. He even mentions his "Nana"!

Honestly Ron, if you care at all about the University of Florida You will retire as coach effective tommorow. 95% of all division 1 coaches could have won the game with a 23 point lead and only 4 minutes left in the 3rd quarter...its not rocket science man, you just keep doing what was working for you. Which means you dont put in a new quarterback, you dont start running prevent defense and you dont get predictable on the run. I kid you not, my Nana could have coached a better finale. To your credit, you ARE a great recruiter, but as a whole, you HURT he Gators...Jeremy Foley...this site has merit, PLEASE, for the love of Jesus and Baby Jesus, FIRE RON ZOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Using the power of the G5, I have put together a movie using still pictures taken while in the front row audience of the "Maury Show". It features a song by the punk band "The Ataris" called "How I Spent My Summer Vacation", which I felt was appropriate. Click here to check out the video. Note: It is in Quicktime format but I've set it up to stream so you won't have to wait for the whole thing to finish downloading before you can watch it.

A little background on the video... The girlfriend, my friend Deese and I went to see the Maury Show while we were in NYC. For some reason, the girl that I spoke with from the show gave us "VIP" tickets, which basically meant that we had the pick of whatever seats we wanted in the studio. So, naturally we picked the front row! Anyway, I was only allowed to take pictures between taping segments. They filmed two different shows while we were there: a makeover show and an "outrageous and shocking videos" show. I was disappointed that it wasn't one of the lie detector "your boyfriend is sleeping with your mom" segments, but the makeover show was surprisingly poignant and fun. The family of one of the makeover moms was sitting right behind us and the woman's daughter started to cry when her mom came out because "she looked so good". It was very sweet. There was also a kid, whom I've featured somewhat on my video, that was a "Make-A-Wish" child and his dream was to meet Maury and attend a taping. The Maury Crew basically let him run amok between segments and he even got an opportunity to "rap" on the microphone while the studio blared an Eminem song.

Maury was very amiable and friendly with the audience, always willing to take a picture, talk and even dance with people. I was pleasantly surprised at that. Not a prima donna, at least not to us! (I did see him give the evil eye to one of his staff and managed to take a picture of it... look for Maury with an orange sweater on the video!)

All and all, it was a great experience. I'll be posting a collection of short videos that I took between segments that capture the action of the studio a bit better later on.

Let me know what you think of this video in the meantime...

I finally did it. I was fed up with having to reboot my computer if I worked on Dreamweaver for too long. I was tired of ctrl-alt-del as the rule and not the exception. And I looked at the fact that I am interested in apps and not games. My decision was to forego the world of Windows and get a Mac. I'm now using one of those bad ass G5 computers, the world's fastest desktop computer, according to their website. So far, so good! I've had it for less than a week and I've already edited videos from my NYC trip and created a full featured DVD that can be viewed on any player. Complete with music, videos, slideshows and menus! I'm overjoyed!

Universal Music, one of the giants in the music industry, has decided to set the suggested retail price of CD's from $16.98-$18.98 to a new low of $12.98.  This will keep music retailers, such as the ones that charge full retail at the mall (FYE, Camelot Music) to subsequently lower their prices as well.  Also, the large retailers (Best Buy, Target) will now start pricing their CD's around $10.  It's a smart move, especially considering the current state of music sales.  I'm still not sure if I'm going to increase my purchasing or not... for one, Universal is a French-owned company and I'm currently boycotting all French products, and I don't appreciate the witch hunt the industry is attempting against peer-to-peer file sharing.  Anyway... if you're interested, the article is here

"[Miami's running game] will stick it in your butt and keep on going." - UF Football Coach Ron Zook.