Frog's House of Infinite Wisdom

ESPN.com can't even avoid mentioning it in their report of the game. The Seminoles won, but they shouldn't feel good about it. The referees are responsible for handing the game over to FSU. From start to finish. Momentum means everything in college football and the ACC officiating crew did everything possible to make sure that UF didn't have it. Read this article and you'll read what all of us saw. This pathetic crew of officials should be fired.

UPDATE: For those of you who saw the game and are as disturbed as I am, here is the address of the head of ACC Officials.
Tommy Hunt
Football Officials Coordinator-ACC
P.O. Drawer ACC
Greensboro, N.C. 27417-6724
(336) 854-8787

This isn't just some game. If I failed so horribly at my job, I would be fired. So should they.

This story involves a man who was watching the movie "Death Wish" when all of a sudden, his house was broken into...

...and happy birthday to my friend "SuperDracula", aka GregNews, aka Bitter 'G'.

Let's make sure to give thanks to everything that's truly important, such as the fact that the Gator basketball season has started.

This story from Yahoo! News reminds me of the time that I worked in retail. I was in the computer department of a B. Dalton Bookstore and it was around Christmas time. The store was buzzing because we had heard a rumor that there were holiday bonuses in our future.

To make a long story short, we ended up getting these scratch off tickets. I "won" a bookmark, which I found ironic because the scratch off ticket was long like a bookmark. I figured it was redundant to trade it in so I kept it. (I quit a short time later.)

Alright, already. My brother was shaming me for not putting this mugshot of the recently arrested Campbell.


Here's an even closer look at his face.


Closer...

If you want to read about his arrest, click here.

Death penalty? So I can't play in a bowl game?

...and I agree. This scumbag kept a nation in terror for weeks. He, as one part of the murderous duo, killed several people and most definitely should have to stare into the hot, smoky end of a pistol. I mean, you could almost - ALMOST - appreciate the fact that he created fear in the community for political or religious reasons but from what I can tell, the sole motivation was money. Personally, I'm a proponant of the death penalty and can't imagine a better candidate than this guy and his boy killer trainee, Lee Malvo. Matter of fact, nothing would be finer than to create the same fear he instilled in millions of others. My suggestion is to let him loose in some grassy flatlands, give him a couple of weeks to build a makeshift hut out of mud and wait a week or two until military trained snipers randomly take shots at him. Let the bastard sweat it for a while.

I was browsing the news this morning when I noticed this report on CNN.com featuring a story about a dormitory blaze in Moscow that left 32 dead and a hundred people injured. Reading further, I discovered that the dorm was part of Friendship University and that there is a good chance it's the same dorm I lived in when I spent the summer in Moscow back in 1993. I'm going to do more snooping to find out for sure, but if it is... wow. Which reminds me of a story... when I have more time I'll post it for you.

On MSN.com, some chick listed the top ten worst lines used to pick people up. And they're terrible. But for some reason, they work. I know because once - ONCE - I tried one of these hokey ass lines and it worked perfectly. I was at a club by myself, because I'm a big ass dork, and these two girls were bitching about all the stupid lines they'd heard all night. So I leaned over to one of them, dipped my finger in my water cup, touched her on her shirt and said "Now, let's get you out of those wet clothes."

They cackled with laughter.

Moments later, I had a date with one of the girls.

On the "date", I ended up going to a party with this girl which she subsequently left because her BOYFRIEND showed up. That normally puts a damper on a date, I find. Anyway, the party wasn't even that great. It was at a terribly lame fraternity house that was having an "around the world" gathering, which supposedly meant that there would be different region-themed rooms with alcohol to match that theme. This fraternity had tequila, lemon drop shots, and Corona. Mexico was well represented. I ended up having to walk from the fraternity house back to the dorm, drunk and depressed.

Let this be a lesson -- if you pick up someone with a "pick-up line", you'll end up with someone who is impressed with "pick-up lines".

The Smoking Gun has a picture of the "King of Poppin' Kids" on its website. Check out these stats...

• Age: 45
• Height: 5' 11"
• Weight: 120!!!
• And the most shocking statistic of all... Race: Black

AP has reported that Michael Jackson is now in the Santa Barbara jail to face child molestation charges. Bail was set at $3 million dollars, which means that he'll likely only be in custody for an hour. I guess they don't consider him a flight risk since everyone on the planet knows who he is and what he looks like!

ESPN.com is reporting that Keyshawn Johnson, the kinetic-jawed WR for the Tampa Bay Bucs, has been deactivated. Which officially confirmed my suspiscion that he was world's most annoying football-playing robot. (bad joke)

Seriously, though, it's refreshing to FINALLY see a prima donna like K.J. get put in his place. It's impossible to motivate a team when you have a devisive player like him. When I ran track in college, we had guys like that... guys who would bitch and complain and would bring the team down. It does terrible things to team chemistry.

Good riddance, loudmouth!

There, you happy Deese?

From the "What took them so long" department, Michael Jackson, the king of pop will soon be declared "King of Cell Block G". Santa Barbara County Sheriff Officials have issued an arrest warrant to Jackson based on allegations of molestation by a 12 year old boy. Stay tuned to Frogbrother.com for future details...

Associated Press is reporting that police armed with search warrants "swarmed" Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch on Tuesday. Rationale behind the search was not disclosed but some contend that it might have a connection with his former personal investigator, Anthony Pellicano.

Momma say momma sah muh mommo sah!

What the hell are eyebrows for? I figured it was the only true way to know if a surprise party was a success. This article will answer all your questions.

I challenge you to read these Ralph Wiggam quotes and not laugh!

I finally got the opportunity to see "Bubba Ho-Tep" in the theater and since I've been harping on it for so long it only seemed fair that I review it for you.

I won't go the usual movie critic route and give you a scenopsis since I can't write it much better than the website has already, but I will tell you that this movie is less of a horror/action movie and more of an introspective movie about Elvis. Which isn't a bad thing. Bruce Campbell is brilliant as The King, albeit an older and cruder version. His portrayal is emotional and very effective and it's very easy to forget you're watching someone merely ACTING as Presley. Ossie Davis is also great as "JFK" and his performance is at time very, well, presidential. (Take a look at his room at the rest home, right down to the plush blue carpeting and red phone.)

Overall, I'd give this movie four stars our of five. It's not perfect, but what is! Go see it... it's cooky and fun!

... for the love of Pete... PLEASE stop that. Girl, you got one UGLY cry-face!

Ok, people... I sent a gazillion emails to get this movie here in Florida so if you're within driving distance of Gainesville or Tampa, get on over to the theater and check this movie out. It's got Elvis fighting the forces of evil! How can you lose!

Seriously, though, I can't believe it's playing in little-old-Gainesville. I was looking at the list of cities where this movie is playing and it just doesn't make any sense. I must have been quite convincing in my emails!

You gotta check out this news report. Although it's extremely dangerous to take on a would-be robber, I commend this guy's brass nads. Three guys rob his store at gunpoint, they leave, he chased after them, takes their gun, pistol-whips all three of them... click here for more glorious violence against three guys who absolutely deserve it!

Today, for another 15 or so minutes, it's my sister's birthday. Leave her some birthday wishes, will ya? Thanks...

Judge Judy, the no-nonsense television judge, weighs in about the Robert Durst case. If you're not aware, he's the millionaire who went into hiding by moving to another city, wearing women's clothing and ultimately killed his neighbor in "self defense", cut up the body and put it in bags to dispose of it. Accidents happen!

...but I've been thinking about death a lot lately. Not in that panickey, depressed way, so no phone calls, please, but more in a "I can't believe at some point I'll cease to exist" way. I don't know if I'm just odd or if everyone does that. Here's my stream of thinking on a daily basis.

"I can't believe that I'm going to die someday."
"How is that possible?"
"Is there life after death? Am I going to exist after I die? Or am I gone forever?"
"The people that make this brand of oatmeal that I eat every morning... they're going to die, too!"
"I wonder if they enjoy making oatmeal..."
"I wonder if they think about dying while making the oatmeal..."
"I wonder what I'm going to eat for lunch..."

Ok, so I'm not THAT deep a thinker.

In other news, Frogbrother never sleeps again.

Darkman called, he wants his invention back. Seriously. Doctors in Britain are looking for facially deformed candidates for face transplant trials. Click here to read about these two-faced individuals. Ha. Ha ha. AH HA HA HA HA....

BUBBA HO-TEP could be the quirkiest, greatest idea for a movie ever. Imagine if Elvis was really alive, lived in a rest home and ultimately battled the forces of evil. Well, it's on FILM, BABY!

The movie has been well received by critics and fans alike and I have been working to get it shown in Gainesville and now it is, starting this Friday! (And quite possibly at a theater near you!) Check out BUBBAHOTEP.COM and read the film overview, take a look at the trailer and see for yourself! Or better yet, call (310) 228.3665 for a message from "The King"!

I came across this picture from movies.yahoo.com and it just struck me as funny... Neo looks rather confused at Will Ferrell's appearance.

Here's a game for ya. Who's quote is this?

"[W]e urge you, after consulting with Congress, and consistent with the U.S. Constitution and laws, to take necessary actions (including, if appropriate, air and missile strikes on suspect Iraqi sites) to respond effectively to the threat posed by Iraq's refusal to end its weapons of mass destruction programs."

The answer is a BUNCH of Democratic Senators! This is a letter to President Clinton signed by Tom Daschle, John Kerry, Carl Levin, among others. These are the same group of guys and gals that are attacking Bush for doing the very thing that they wanted back in 1998! Of course, these are also the same group that argued that this war was about oil and when it became clear that it wasn't, they requested that we let Iraq BORROW money from the U.S. to be paid back with oil profits! Click here for more rib-tickling hypocracy!

I was just thinking about all the bands I've seen over the years. I know this isn't complete but damn, I've seen some good one's... and a few bad ones. Here's a list so far, in alphabetical order:

.38 Special Beastie Boys Ben Folds Better Than Ezra Billy Joel (2) Black Eyed Peas Butch Walker (2) Debbie Gibson Eagles, The En Vogue Faith Hill Gavin DeGraw Guns N Roses Eric Clapton Indigo Girls James Brown John Mayer Jonatha Brooke Jump, Little Children Living Color Maroon 5 Marvelous 3

MC Hammer Melissa Etheridge Motley Crue Ours Outkast Peter Gabriel Rolling Stones Roots Run DMC (2) Sheryl Crow Sister Hazel Smithereens Sting Tom Petty U2 Vanilla Ice Velvet Teen Vertical Horizon Wailers, The Weezer (2) Yanni

Out of this list, I couldn't even tell you my favorite show. Maybe the second Run DMC show. Anyway, take a look at the list, laugh out loud and give me a list of YOUR top five shows!

Wave "bye" to my money...

I was craving an egg salad bagel for some reason so I walked over to the Chesapeake Bagel Bakery, got in line, requested two bagels (as I had a "two-4-one" coupon), paid, and moved to the side. Five minutes later, I heard someone whisper:

"We don't have any egg salad."

I told them I didn't want anything else so I stood there and had a staredown with one of the workers until he moved over to the only available register, un-voided my coupon and gave me my cash back.

After that, on a whim and since I had another coupon (thanks to my Entertainment Book), I went a couple of blocks to McDonalds, which is against my better judgment normally due to the enormously unhealthy but amazingly tasty food and the substandard conditions of their lobby. Anyway, I didn't have enough cash to get what I wanted so I went to their ATM. It was a bit different in that it didn't directly dispense cash but released a receipt that the cashier would take in exchange, also requiring a purchase. No problem. I was hungry. I went through the motions... sliiiiide... beep beep beep beep... beep.... $30 dollars... beep... the display says "Please take the receipt to the cashier." Whirring sounds. Clicking sounds. No receipt. Great! Now I'm at the mercy of the underpaid, overworked, unsympathetic staff.

I told the lady at the counter, "The machine didn't give me my receipt. How do I get my cash?" Her response?

"Eeeef you no get the teeecket, eeet doesn't sharge you."

"Can I speak to the manager, please?"

The manager proceeds to tell me that she doesn't have anything to do with the ATM and that all she has is a contact number for the company that services it. Fine, I'll take it.

I call the company and Kim on the other end informs me that the managers DO in fact have access to the machines and can produce a report that shows transactions on the machine. She calls the corporate office, faxes a copy of the report confirming my transaction and calls the McDonalds to confirm that they owe me $30 bucks. Unfortunately, the manager has no time to deal with this so she takes my name (and I hers) and I'm unmarrily on my way.

Long story short, I walked about a mile, lost about a gallon of sweat, and eventually ended up at Subway. So, it might have cost me $30, but I'm healthier in the long run!

UPDATE: All the Chesapeake Bagel Bakeries in town are now closed. I had nothing to do with it, I swear!

WFRG - The best of the 80's and the best of today! Ha ha ha...

I have an internet radio station! Load up Quicktime, select "Open URL in New Window" and put this in: icy://68.105.170.116:8080. That'll do it! One word of caution: this radio station is running from my house and can probably only handle two people listening at a time... so... I'll stop listening now! If the music starts playing erratically or stops all together, there's too many people listening. Try again later. I'll be calling my ISP and getting a bandwidth boost soon...

UPDATE: I've lowered the bitrate and so now up to eight people can log in and listen. You better have a broadband connection or it ain't gonna work! I've also added some more music to the mix so there is now about 7 hours of non-repeated musical bliss. Enjoy!

ANOTHER UPDATE: I've doubled the connection so now 16 people can listen at one time... weeeee!!

CBS has decided to pull the plug on the so-called biopic "The Reagans". Take a look at the official statement:

CBS STATEMENT REGARDING "THE REAGANS"

"CBS will not broadcast THE REAGANS on November 16 and 18. This decision is based solely on our reaction to seeing the final film, not the controversy that erupted around a draft of the script.

Although the mini-series features impressive production values and acting performances, and although the producers have sources to verify each scene in the script, we believe it does not present a balanced portrayal of the Reagans for CBS and its audience. Subsequent edits that we considered did not address those concerns.

A free broadcast network, available to all over the public airwaves, has different standards than media the public must pay to view. We do, however, recognize and respect the filmmakers' right to have their voice heard and their film seen. As such, we have reached an agreement to license the exhibition rights for the film to Showtime, a subscriber-based, pay-cable network. We believe this is a solution that benefits everyone involved.

This was not an easy decision to make. CBS does tackle controversial subjects and provide tough assessments of prominent historical figures and events, as we did with films such as 'Jesus,' '9-11' and 'Hitler.' We will continue to do so in the future."

I think it's interesting that the final response admits what the "conservatives" were harping on; the fact that this miniseries is biased in its portrayal of President Reagan and the First Lady. It never should have gotten this far, quite frankly.

Tenacious D started their 45 day hunger strike yesterday to promote their new DVD. Unfortunately, it only lasted an hour. Click here to laugh.

...who got in my face and barked -- yes, literally barked -- at me and my girlfriend as we walked to the stadium... to the girl who stared at my Florida shirt, looked at me and said "I'm sorry"... to the two jerks that said "Florida sucks" as we maintained our silence and made our way to the gate... to the throngs of Bulldog fans who held up signs alleging that Florida fans "wear jean shorts and eat boogers"... click here and realize that just because you dress up for a college football game, it doesn't mean you have class. Ha ha ha! Black was an appropriate color because after the game, the same fans who SWORE they were going to win looked as if they left a funeral. You deserve it. Georgia fans are swarthy and classless and I hope they are crying their eyes out!

On a lighter note, the game was simply incredible. Both teams played amazingly well. On paper, Georgia played better football. The great thing about sport are those intangibles that you can't necessarily measure, determination being one of them. We had it in spades. Although the Bulldogs continued to run the ball extremely well, we managed to march down the field in the closing seconds and break up what would have been a tie. I don't think I could have handled an overtime game.

A bungled "incomplete pass" call by a visually deficient referee extended the game far beyond what it should have been but after a dump pass to a receiver and about ten yards of rushing before a tackle, the clock displayed double zeros and the game was over. I yelled until I was lightheaded. The guy behind me with the curly mullet wiped away tears. People were hugging total strangers.

Damn, it's great to beat Georgia.