Frog's House of Infinite Wisdom

Late night television host and soothsayer Conan O'Brien has written a hilarious piece in Newsweek giving his predictions for the future of TV. Another must read!

Hope you're having a pleasant Memorial Day. Most people use it as a day of leisure and travel, as did I, although I spent some time with my ailing grandmother who is also a veteran.

If you have some time, take a few minutes looking at this website dedicated to the members of the Armed Forces who earned the Congressional Medal of Honor. Heros, all.

A liberal writer for the University of Oregon student newspaper has courageously written an editorial blasting those who thought it would be great if President Bush had been killed by that grenade in the former USSR. A must read...

He's even got that 'just had sex' hair!

In Campobello, North Carolina, the men are men and the women are scarce. So, what's a guy to do? According to this 17-year-old, it's time to hit the local dog kennel!

ABCNews.com is reporting that the leader of the Iraq arm of Al Qaeda, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, has been injured and is very close to death. This is the same guy who has targeted civilians in his deadly war against both the US military and the Iraqi citizenry. His organizations has asked that Muslims pray for his recovery. No doubt so he can be healthy enough to kill more Iraqis.

I'm praying a special pray for him...

This time, it seems that Bobby Brown's entourage got into a West Side Story-style stab fight with a group at a P. Diddy-owned restaurant. Which leads me to this next question... Bobby Brown has an entourage?!

Sorry for the lack of posts in the past couple of days. Beyond one story I saw where a lady had over 250 cats in her house, I have been uninspired by what's out there on the internets. I mean... I can only post so many Xbox360 entries!

Gentle Reader, if you have a goofy news story, wacky video or any other web page of interest, post 'em in the comments, please...

Sorry about the lack of posts, but my weekend travels followed by a stomach ailment kept me from posting... well... not really. I couldn't find anything except the new Xbox 360 to even bother talking about.

Well, I suppose I could have talked about Newsweek's rush to condemn the military yet again, but that's being covered ad nauseum.

My girlfried passed along a great idea as we were rummaging through the pile of unsolicited mail in our mailbox. For some reason, the credit card companies love to send weekly memos informing you that they have a card with 0% interest which naturally only lasts 2 months and then they jump back up to 17%. Anyway, those, along with the annoying circulars full of worthless coupons for Church's Chicken and Rent-A-Center continue to arrive with no end in site. The good news is that the credit card companies typically include a postage free envelope so you can quickly and painlessly indebt yourself to them.

Instead of sending your application postage free, why not send them a few coupons from Firestone and Big Lots?

I came across this website that claims that although PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) claims to uphold the rights of the animal kingdom that they, in fact, run a shelter out of Virginia that euthanizes thousands of cats and dogs a year. Wouldn't you think that they would run a no-kill shelter like so many others do?

This news is just an hour old... Dave Chappelle has checked himself into a South African mental health hospital for an undetermined condition. This clearly puts the third season of his self-titled show at risk but more importantly, it proves what people (myself included) have been fearing for some time.

Get well soon, Dave!

You've never seen Tutankhamen and Gina Gershon in the same room, have you?

MC Scat Cat... put your hands where we can see them!

That's a graphic I noticed on FoxNews.com. Doesn't it look like some sort of hardcore porn? Not that I've ever seen one, of course.

Success is a hell of a drug.

America's favorite comic, Dave "I'm Rick James, Bitch" Chappelle, has been a no-show on the set of his self-titled television show on Comedy Central. Rumor has it that when he did manage to show up on the set, he was disorientated and usually hours late. Not a good sign.

It's time for an intervention, people. Who's with me? Lets drive to Ohio or New York (or wherever he's hiding out) and make sure he doesn't go out like those other beloved comedians like Mitch Hedberg or Chris Farley. Dave! Get help!

UPDATE: It looks like Newsweek has done a story on the problem. Sounds a little more reasonable than some of the reports that I've read but it still doesn't get away from the fact that Dave is self-destructing. Dave! You were a great comedian before this show and you'll still be one afterwards. It's gonna be cool...

This video was sent to me by GregNews. If you like funny videos with tasteless punchlines starring monkeys - and who doesn't - look no further than this link right here.

Those guys are f'ing HOT!

Missed the O'Brien/Dr. Phil interview? Fear not! I've found the link to the transcripts! Within those pages, you'll find passages like the following

Pat: Everybody has a bottom. And I hit my bottom that horrible weekend in New York. Do I remember most of it? No. And that's where the bottom is. It was a weekend of fun, I thought, a weekend of drinking, which turned into a little bit of craziness.

Don't you love it when award pandering actors play the part of a mentally challenged person in order to get praise? Well, here's a video of Rosie O'Donnell playing a retarded woman in "Riding On The Bus With My Sister", the television movie of all time.

By the way, it's ok to laugh at the preformance. Rosie isn't REALLY retarded. At least, I don't think she is.

UPDATE: How did I miss this? TVgasm.com has done a liveblog of the show... a minute-by-minute reaction. Good stuff.

Also as disturbing is this still cap of Andie McDowell's gut. Eww... she's hit the wall since "Groundhog Day"!

From Page Six:

BRAD Pitt and Angelina Jolie made so much noise during an animalistic sex session at their Kenyan love nest that security rushed to their room, Star magazine claims. The celeb-obsessed weekly — which breathlessly dubs the Pitt/Jolie affair "the romance of the century" — quotes an insider at the luxury Alfajari Villas beach resort as saying the couple's loud lovemaking "sounded like a wounded animal, like someone being killed!" According to Star, "worried guards grabbed their weapons," rushed to Pitt and Jolie's suite and "hammered furiously on the door with their clubs." Suddenly, the screams stopped, and Pitt's voice was heard from inside the $2,000-a-night villa. "Everything is cool guys," he supposedly said. "You can leave — we're OK." Star reports it found an entry in the Alfajari's "disturbance log" at 2 a.m. on April 20. "People here have great respect for men with sexual prowess who keep their women pleased," the mag quotes an "onlooker." Even better, "another local" relates, "Miss Jolie got so excited, the guards thought maybe Mr. Pitt was taking juju herbs to give him the strength of a lion."

Grumble, grumble. What the hell is this... it's not enough that these two are so good looking that they have to have earth shattering, safari-disturbing sex, too?

At the request of a new reader, I've posted a more complete selection of audio from the Howard Stern show making delicious fun of the Pat O'Brien voicemails.

And don't forget... Pat O'Brien! Wednesday night!

Not even Snopes can determine if this call is a prank or not but I can imagine that it is. There are stupid people all around us. This lady calling 911 from the Bruger King drive-thru is the same dumb ass that can't figure out a four-way stop.

In an attempt to keep me glued to my television like $2 hooker on a crack pipe, CBS is airing an interview with Pat O'Brien on Wednesday, piping hot and fresh out of rehab. The interview/tough love session is being performed by Dr. Phil, the world famous counselor/fat dietician.

No word yet on whether the interview will be f***ing hot.

Defamer.com gets credit for this amazing graphic...

Call me cynical, but I had a conversation with my girlfriend about this sham of a relationship involving Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise and now the New York Post is echoing my words.

So, you're an actor who has always been thought of as a sex symbol but you're getting older and you're not getting the attention of the kids anymore. You have a big movie coming out and you need a box office blowout to pay for a new wing on the Hollywood Scientology Center. What's a P.R. expert to do to get you write-ups in Seventeen? Enter Katie Holmes, a recently single actress who has garnered critical praise for her latest films. (Just pretend "First Daughter" never happened...)

Anyway, the whole thing is faker than Joan Rivers' cheekbones.