Frog's House of Infinite Wisdom

Recently, I had a post on my site linking to an instructional video called "How To Dance Like A White Guy". Anyway, I got this comment from a reader:

waco said...
Hey,
Where the guys that made dance like a white guy. We'e got a new show coming out on Mtv2 July 8th called Stankervision.

Here's a trailer for our show:
http://www.mtv2.com/#series/18023

Anyway, since we've gotten a direct solicitation, let's all give this show a chance. One of the characters is called "Yucko the Clown" and he's a regular on the Howard Stern show. He's the most insulting, disgusting guys you'll ever see... and he's great.

Peek a boo!

This story is too disturbing to pass up. A New Hampshire woman called police after she looked in her toilet and saw a face staring back at her. Watching her poop. Hiding in an underground tank, full of poop.

In response to the Supreme Court ruling that allows municipalities to claim private property for the so-called greater economic good, Logan Darrow Clements has filed a request to the city of Weare, New Hampshire to claim a piece of property for the purpose of building a hotel and cafe, which will no doubt improve the tax base of the area. The wrinkle is that the property is owned by Supreme Court Justice David Souter.

Of course, these people will never get the city government to vote for this unless Mr. Clements can prove that this is the most viable place in the area to set up shop, but I have to commend his effort as this ruling is rediculous.

Here's an article on Slate.com that talks about the less-than-glamourous side of filmmaking - the insurance companies that protect against delays due to injury on the set. Would you believe that Nicole Kidman is a huge risk? Do you think that Tom Cruise really does all of his own stunts as he claims? Read and decide for yourself...

I came across this video (in Windows Media format) which I found to be extraordinary. It's one of the most unusual street fights I've ever seen. The two people scrapping include a thug-life wannabe and a skinny white guy who assumes a tiger claw kung fu pose. Two styles of fighting, one winner. Go, Danielson!

For those of you that are interested, I've discovered Flickr.com and have posted pictures from our original RAPCON recording session. There's a few pictures of us downing "8 Ball" before we spit lyrics.

New Phrase: "Drop that whisk or I'll gut you."

Unless you're under some sort of media blackout, you are keenly aware of the new Apprentice featuring domestic goddess/felon Martha Stewart. The Hollywood Reporter is claiming that she is keeping her cards close to her vest as to her new, hip, destined-to-sweep-the-nation catch phrase, a la "You're Fired!". Personally, I'm voting for "Get The F*ck Outta My Sight!" but I'm not sure how it'll look on the official NBC Apprentice T-shirts and coffee mugs.

Some of you may know that I was a runner for a Division one college track team back in the early 90's. I had a great coach who was keen on imparting wisdom along with his torturous workouts. One day in particular I left my keychain behind at the track which had a digital voice recorder attached to it. It wasn't until I got back to the dorms that I discovered the LED light on the top that signaled that a message was stored. On it were words that still haunt me today: "Don't forget to get your head out of your ass!"

I can also remember one day in particular when he approached me with a serious message. He asked "Have you visited your grandmother lately?" Although I was taken aback considering the randomness of the question -- we were getting ready to start our workout -- I admitted that I hadn't. His seriousness was almost startling as he was never really one to get overly contemplative with us.

"You need to visit your grandmother because someday she'll be gone and you'll wish you had."

That phrase was repeated periodically throughout my time running track for him and I had increased my trips to see her on his advice. And now, years later, I can still hear him compelling me, coaching me, to do the right thing.

We buried my grandma early last week. His words were still with me as I drove down to spend time with her and hold her hand the night before she died.

Thank you, coach...

Katie Holmes was essentially off the map for 16 days prior to "coming out" as being in love with Tom Cruise. Prior to that, she had not met Cruise but had a meeting planned for casting consideration in Mission Impossible:3. After that 16 days, she fired her agent and manager for no reason and has dropped a couple of her lifelong friends...

In other words, you have to read this article posted on FoxNews.com!

As you may or may not know, Batman is different from most of the other super heros in the fictional world in that he doesn't really have any super powers other than being slightly insane and having lots of cash. Forbes.com has put together an itemized list of how much it would cost to transform yourself into the Darknight Detective.

Doctors have discovered a boy from India who is having monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Ick.

I know I've been doing a lot of Cruise bashing as of late but I have to say that I'm pretty impressed by the way he handled this guy on the red carpet. Tom Cruise was being interviewed by a guy whose real intention was to pull a prank with a microphone that was really a squirt gun, allegedly for a UK celebrity "Punk'd" type show. The joke was on him. He managed to get a shot right in Cruise's face but instead of going into a Russell Crowe-like rage, he calmly chastized the guy and took ever ounce of comedy out of his obnoxious act. Here's the video for those who haven't seen it.

If only he would have shown such restraint when talking about Brooke Shield's bout with post partem depression...

In a hilarious twist of irony, CNN.com is reporting that two members of PETA have been charge with animal cruelty for dumping dead animals in a shopping center dumpster.

In a related story, many people aren't aware that despite the cruel, obnoxious pro-animal tactics that this group adheres to, PETA runs a shelter for animals -- and it's not a "no kill" shelter. If they don't find people to adopt the animals, they kill them. I guess it's too costly for them to keep these beloved animals alive.

I just wrote a really great, biting, sarcastic entry about Katie and Tom "Xenu" Cruise and so forth but I'm an idiot and accidentally closed the browser and lost it all. Sh*t. Do me a favor and imagine the funniest entry ever about Tom Cruise comparing "Battlefield Earth" to the movie "The Ten Commandments", followed by a cleverly engineered segue into Katie Holmes and her horrible looking feet. Trust me, it was clever.

UPDATE: Dating Tom Cruise also gives you the herpes.

Another classic by Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog! This link will take you to the latest video of Triumph harassing the freakish fans perched outside the courthouse during the Michael Jackson trial.

Some seriously deranged person has put together a website that proves through backwards masking of Hillary Duff's music that she is a Nazi. Ain't the internet grand?

My description of this grown man who dresses like a baby girl, complete with pink bonnet and diaper, cannot do him justice so I strongly suggest that you read the article and when you're done, take a look at how your life isn't really all that weird after all.

Katie... if you've been abducted, stare straight into the camera lens...

Found "not guilty" on all molestation counts or providing alcohol to a minor. Wow.

These are Pakistani Muslims allegedly reacting to the Newsweek story of Qu'ran desecration. I find it odd because they find it ok to treat our flag in a similar fashion. I'm also certain this isn't the first time I've seen this image in the media, but because it's not uncommon to see someone from an Arab nation burn an American flag, it's not given the same media consideration as a story about Qu'ran abuse, which incidentally was debunked a short time later. There have been other reports unrelated to the Newsweek story, but the point is that you really have to search hard to find it, whereas with flag burning, all you have to do is point a news camera.

Great article on MSNBC.com about the latest trend of plastic surgery that enlarges or tightens hoho's and wieners. Ha. Ha ha. HA HA HA HA HA.

Poop.

Just a coincidence, I'm sure...

For those of you who are interested in what all the Tom Cruise-related fuss is about, here is the official page of Scientology.

Now that I've gotten that formality out of the way, the site "Operation Clambake" is devoted to debunking Scientology and seems to be backed with scientific research, credible journalism and eyewitness accounts.

Please don't feed the animals.

Please please PLEASE take a look at AllDumb.com as they have archived Dane Cook's recently hilarious appearance on the Jimmy Kimmel Show. He does a spoof of Tom Cruise's over-the-top, simian-like interview with Oprah as he ranted about his relationship with Katie Holmes. Cruise pounded the floor, jumped on furniture... basically everything except throwing feces and picking nits out of Oprah's helmet-sculpted hair.

How's THAT for equal time? Seems that all this harping on about how John Kerry was the intellectual candidate was all a joke. CNN.com is reporting that based on the release of Kerry's Yale transcripts that he and President Bush has a very similar scholastic career, including their overall GPA.

Have you ever wanted to learn "The Squat", "The Point", and the "Squat and Point"? Me neither. But take a look at this video (in Windows Media format) and you'll see why I only dance when I'm really drunk.

Yes, that's a giant can of Heinz baked beans.

Brooke Shields has decided to respond to Tom Cruise's rude and obnoxious comments regarding her use of Paxil during a severe bought with Post Partem Depression. He had the nerve to insinuate that her career had suffered due to her use of medication!

One of her best comments was a dig at his chosen religion of Scientology -- she said that she refused to take advice from someone who worships aliens.

You've been lied to. Seriously. Take a look at this information and cut through the lies told by "Rock the Vote", the AARP and other haters.

This is not like one of those bullsh*t emails your so-called friends keep sending you... Krispy Kreme, the makers of "Hot Doughnuts Now" is celebrating National Doughnut Day by giving every person who comes in a free doughnut of their choice just for stopping in. Click here for the details...

Not to sound like an old fogey, but I have to mention the passing of George Mikan, the first true NBA superstar. He passed away at the age of 81. He was before the heralded Wilt Chamberlain and certainly wasn't as known but was singularly responsible for many rule changes that led the way to the modern game. For anyone who is interested, his story is here.

Boyohboyohboy! I love my girlfriend! Yee haw! Scientology is better than drugs! Brooke Shields' career sucks because she isn't a Scientologist! I worship a science fiction writer... and I'm rich! And I'm not gay! Did I mention that I love my girlfriend?

Today is officially the start of Florida's hurricane season and so the press is gearing up with the survival tips and so forth. After last years slew of killer storms, which did a reasonable amount of damage ot my property, I'm not terribly excited about this year's projected increase of storm activity.

Anyway, I remember these guys on the news last year. They have this chemical they call "Dyn-O-Mat" that is supposed to bond with water in the storms making them heavier and thereby weakening the efficacy of hurricanes. Does it work? Well, the owners of Dyn-O-Mat are willing to find out...